One of the most important things Jesus has given us to do is to "make disciples," which includes not only "baptizing them" but also "teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you" (Matthew 28:19-20). This is something every Christian is called to do.

Of course, there are many different ways to do this. But one particular method I've found particularly worthwhile is what I call "Discipleship Groups." In this post, I'd like to share how I personally prefer to structure and operate Discipleship Groups with the hope that it might spark interest in others as well. Feel free to use this model to whatever degree you find it helpful—or change it as you see fit!  

Parameters for Discipleship Groups

I prefer to operate Discipleship Groups according to the following parameters:

• A group size of five people. Having more than five people results in a group that is too big to go as deep as I like to go in Discipleship Groups since there simply isn’t time to focus as much as I'd like on each individual person. On the other hand, having less than five people results in some meetings having too few people for a dynamic conversation (keep in mind that one or two people might miss any given meeting). 
• Only one gender. As a man, I only meet with other men.
• Meetings once every two weeks. Meeting less frequently than every two weeks isn’t preferable since regular accountability is a key component of these groups. At the same time, meeting more frequently than every two weeks is more than a lot of people can handle. From my experience, meeting every two weeks seems to be the best frequency for most people.
• Meetings that last an hour. In my experience, it’s really not possible to have a meaningful group in less than an hour, and groups lasting more than an hour seem to drag on unnecessarily. Therefore, I try to pray the concluding prayer at the end of the one-hour time period. However, that being said, it’s quite common for group meetings to have informal fellowship long after the concluding prayer—sometimes for as long as an hour afterwards. The key is for group members to understand that the “official” group meeting is over and that they are free to leave whenever they desire.

Elements of the Group Meeting

Discipleship Groups that I conduct have the following elements: 

Reciting Memorized Scripture (25 Minutes)

After an opening prayer, group members can share the Bible verses they’ve memorized. Since memorization comes much easier for some people than it does for others, I make sure group members understand that they are free to memorize however few or many verses they desire.

On average, group members usually memorize approximately 4-6 verses every two weeks. At the same time, it is perfectly fine for someone to only memorize one verse, and there have even been groups in which others have consistently memorized twenty verses! Each group member memorizes however many verses he desires to memorize.

It is also common for group members to work their way through books of the Bible in their memorization, though it is perfectly fine for them to memorize verses from different parts of the Bible—whatever they desire to do.

As group members are reciting their verses, the other group members follow along silently. If a group member misses something as they’re reciting their Scripture verses, other group members bring it to his attention in a way that doesn’t immediately reveal the correct reading—so that the person reciting has an opportunity to recite it correctly without being told the answer. If he continues to struggle, the other group members then provide the correct answer.

If time allows, it is also often nice to allow group members to spend a couple of minutes discussing each the Bible verses that have been recited—though I try not to allow this portion of the meeting to extend beyond 25 minutes.

Accountability Questions (10 Minutes)

After everyone has recited their memorized Bible verses, the next portion of the meeting is devoted to asking each other accountability questions. Each member is allowed to choose one question he wants the group to ask him each meeting.

While there are a wide variety of questions that are beneficial to ask, here are a few examples:

• “How many days in the past two weeks did you dedicate at least 20 minutes exclusively to prayer?”
• “How many days in the past two weeks did you spend at least 20 minutes reading the Bible?”
• “How many days in the past two weeks did you do a devotional with your spouse?”
• “Did you view any pornography since our last meeting?”
• “Did you lose your temper with anyone since our last meeting?”

Group members should select a question that addresses an area in which they’d really like to grow rather than an area in which they’re already strong. They can also change their question as often as they’d like. For example, if they initially choose a question about Bible reading but then become consistent in that for a couple of months, they might find it beneficial to change their question to something related to prayer.

Discussion Question (25 Minutes)

After everyone has recited their memorized Bible verses, the next portion of the meeting consists of the discussion question I've chosen for that meeting. I have a rotation of discussion questions that I like to work through. I simply choose one of them each meeting. 

For the first group meeting—or perhaps the first two group meetings, if necessary—I ask, “How did you come to put your trust in Jesus for salvation?” This helps group members get to know each other and develop the trust that will be vital to them being willing to share in highly personal ways later on.

Then, in the second or third meeting, I ask, “How would you most like to grow these next few months?” The focus of this question is not so much on which spiritual discipline group members would like to grow in (since that will be addressed through everyone’s accountability questions) but rather about other, more intangible, aspects of spiritual growth such as growth in specific aspects of Christian character. I write down what each group member says and then text it out to the group so that group members can be regularly praying for each other in those areas. I also like to bring up people’s answers to this question on a regular basis during subsequent meetings (often very briefly at the conclusion of the meeting) and have group members continue to pray for these things. 

After this, I have the group discuss the following questions on a more frequent basis:

• What has God been teaching you lately in your personal devotions or through books you've been reading?
• How is your heart? (not just your circumstances, but more specifically how you’ve been responding to your circumstances on a heart level)
• What is one way the Scripture you’ve been memorizing is significant for our lives? Write out a prayer using the “rejoice/repent/request” approach ahead of time and lead us in that prayer together.
• What challenges have you been facing lately?

In addition, I have the group discuss the following questions on a less frequent basis (usually just once per year):

• What do your times with God usually look like? How do you approach reading the Bible? Are there other disciplines you find helpful?
• What has your prayer life looked like recently? How have you been approaching prayer? What specifically have you been doing? 
• In what areas of your character do you believe there is the most need for improvement in order to live a life that is worthy of imitation?
• In what area(s) of life have you been struggling the most to trust God? What would it look like to surrender that area of your life completely to God? What fears make it difficult to surrender in that way?
• How have you been seeking to serve the Lord by investing in the lives of people around you? (children, neighbors, coworkers, people at church)? Are you engaged in any ongoing outreach efforts we can be praying for?
• What is the biggest lesson God has been teaching you this past year or so? What teaching has he been impressing on your heart the most, or in what way has he been shaping you the most?
• What things do you think are hindering your spiritual growth the most?
• For those who are married, in what ways is your marriage strong? In what ways could your marriage improve? (Before the group, I have group members who are married ask their spouse the same questions and come ready to report their responses. For those who are single, I ask how they've been doing in stewarding their singleness and how their stewardship can be improved.)
• How do you seek to motivate yourself to pursue God when you don’t feel like doing so?
• What major challenges and difficulties have you faced over the course of your life, and how have those experiences shaped your relationship with God and approach to life?
• What three sins are the biggest struggle for you?

I keep track of the questions I’ve asked in order to make sure I don’t repeat those that only need to be asked one time and that I don’t repeat the others too frequently.

In addition, I try to be sensitive to opportunities to provide godly counsel during this portion of the meeting. Of course, I've found it's always good to be cautious about giving unsolicited advice—since such advice may not always be what the person was wanting. However, there are often times when a group member seems like they would be very grateful for others' input on the situation. Whenever I discern there is an opportunity to help someone in this way, I try to take advantage of it. 

Other Practical Matters

Attendance

One reason I strongly prefer having a total of five people in the group is because of the fact that there are often times when group members can’t attend.

Before including someone in my group, I ask them to confirm that they believe they’ll be able to attend group meetings at least 75% of the time—and I make this a requirement for being a part of the group. Not only does having group members who attend less frequently result in fewer people at group meetings, it also has the effect of changing the culture and dynamic of the group in a very undesirable way.

Subsequently, I form a group text with group members and send out a reminder text about 24 hours before each group meeting. This not only minimizes the chances of anyone forgetting about the group meeting, it also gives members an opportunity to let everyone in the group know if they can’t make it.

If it looks like less than three people will be attending the group meeting, I simply cancel the meeting. Cancellation is preferable to rescheduling so that the rest of the year’s scheduled group meetings aren’t affected. This way, group members have a reliable schedule of all group meetings and can plan their lives accordingly.

If a group member seems to be attending significantly less than 75% of the time, I have a conversation with him to inquire about what is going on in his life that is preventing him from attending consistently. Depending on the situation, I might have an honest discussion with him about whether it is best for him to continue being involved in the group if he can’t be there 75% of the time.

Multiplication

In my experience, it’s often optimal for groups to plan from the beginning to disband after meeting together for 10-12 months. Not only does this keep things “fresh” and avoid groups getting in a rut, it also allows for multiplication.

At the end of the 10-12 month period, I encourage group members to try to start additional groups—and maybe even step up themselves as facilitators of those groups. This is what I mean by “multiplication.”

The Unique Value of Discipleship Groups

I'm sometimes asked, "If our church already has Community Groups, why do we need Discipleship Groups?" Here's what I like to emphasize:

Getting Personal

Since Discipleship Groups are smaller than Community Groups and all members of a Discipleship Group are the same gender, it’s possible for discussions to go a lot deeper and get much more personal than is possible in a Community Group setting.

The small size of the group means that there’s actually time to discuss in detail about how each group member is doing in various aspects of life. The small group size and single-gender composition also help group members feel more comfortable sharing personal details that they likely wouldn’t feel comfortable sharing with a large group or one comprised of both genders.

Practical Focus

Discipleship Groups are heavily focused on encouraging group members to practice spiritual disciplines and addressing practical situations in their lives. These are often not areas of significant focus in Community Groups, yet they’re vitally important.

Community Groups are wonderful at facilitating Christians learning from the insights of other Christians, but Discipleship Groups focus on motivating Christians to immerse themselves in the Bible on their own and thereby acquire their own insights. It’s similar to the well-known contrast between giving someone a fish and helping him progress to the point where he’s regularly fishing on his own.

Due to the small group size, Discipleship Groups are also uniquely suited to group members asking each other accountability questions. This is a key way the members of the group motivate each other to pursue God more passionately.

Leaning into These Areas

In order to maximize the benefits of Discipleship Groups, I like to lean into the things that make Discipleship Groups unique. I focus on using the Discipleship Group meetings for the things that Discipleship Groups are uniquely suited to accomplish such as accountability for spiritual disciplines, accountability for personal holiness, and other personal conversations. I feel free to leave the rest for Community Groups.

In other words, if Community Groups can accomplish something effectively, I let the Community Groups do it. I focus my Discipleship Group on things that can be effectively accomplished only in a Discipleship Group setting.