Love that Pursues

Love that Pursues—Matthew 18:15-17

This morning, we’re going to continue our sermon series on “Doing Church Biblically.” Typically, our sermons will go passage by passage through a particular book of the Bible. But these sermons are a bit unique because they’re really functioning as a church membership class that’s designed to prepare those who are interested to start Redeeming Grace Church on October 23. And so, instead of going through a book of the Bible, these sermons are aimed at specific topics related to church membership. 

And let me start out just by saying how encouraged I am at the way you all have been responding to these sermons. I realize that I’ve been preaching some challenging sermons lately—sermons that call people to a new level of commitment. And from what I can tell, it seems like you folks are embracing it and are saying, “That’s biblical, that’s the way Jesus teaches us to live; count me in.” And that’s so encouraging. That’s the kind of church I want to be a part of. That’s the kind of church I want my kids to grow up in. The kind of church that doesn’t shy away from some of the more challenging elements of Jesus’ teachings. 

And this morning, we are going to look at another challenging topic. In fact, this will probably be the most challenging, counter-cultural, politically incorrect sermon we’ve ever had. We’re going to talk about redemptive action, sometimes referred to as “church discipline.” Here’s the main idea I’d like to drive home this morning: Love pursues people in their sin rather than pretending it doesn’t exist. And we’re specifically talking about people who profess to be Christians and are church members. When they become ensnared in a sin and are having trouble thinking, clearly, love pursues them in their sin rather than pretending the sin doesn’t exist. 

And I realize that may be new idea to some people—pursuing people in their sin. Maybe you’re not quite sure what you think about that. So before I get into the two points I’d like to make this morning, let me first take a few minutes to give you a bird’s eye view of the Bible’s overarching story. Because the Bible’s overarching story shows us that this activity of pursuing people in their sin is actually quite central to God’s mission in this world.

The Bible’s Overarching Story

Interestingly, the Bible teaches that sin hasn’t always existed. When God first created this world, there was no such thing as sin. Adam and Eve, the first humans, lived in a perfect paradise where everything was beautiful, enjoyable, and harmonious. That’s the way God created things. He created paradise. And part of us enjoying this paradise was learning to gladly submit to God’s good leadership. So, to teach us this submission, God gave human beings one rule to follow: don’t eat the fruit of one particular tree. Just one rule. But you know what Adam and Even did? If you’ve ever dealt extensively with children, you know exactly what they did. Adam and Eve did what children do when you tell them they can’t have something or do something. All of a sudden, they have even more of a desire to have or do what you’ve just told them they can’t have or do. So of course, Adam and Eve ate the fruit. And immediately, because of their disobedience and rebellion against God, this world became a really messed up place. Sin fractured the entire universe. It brought suffering, it brought dysfunctional relationships, it brought disease, it even brought death. But perhaps most significantly, sin alienated us from God. Romans 5:10 even calls us “enemies of God.” Sin created an unbreachable wall between sinful humans and a holy God, and it made us entirely deserving of God’s eternal punishment. All of that happened in the first few chapters of Genesis.

And then the rest of the Bible records God working to progressively redeem and renew his creation from its fallen state.  He made a promise to Abraham that all nations of the earth would be blessed through his descendants. He used the nation of Israel to show the world glimpses of what he’s like and of what it will take for sin to be forgiven. And then…God’s redemptive efforts came to a climax when he sent his own Son, Jesus, to rescue us from our miserable condition. Jesus left the glories of heaven and entered the brokenness of our world as a real human being. And after living a perfect life, Jesus died on the cross to suffer God’s wrath against sin in our place. 1 Peter 2:24 states that “he bore our sins in his body on the cross.” We should have suffered God’s wrath because of our rebellion, but Jesus suffered God’s wrath so we wouldn’t have to. And then Jesus resurrected from the dead to decisively win the ultimate victory over sin. And the way we can receive the rescue Jesus offers is by turning away from our misguided efforts to fix ourselves and win God’s favor through our own merit and instead place our confidence in Jesus alone to save us. And as that trust in Christ becomes real in our hearts, we’re saved. We’re rescued. We’ll be in heaven one day. Because one day, God’s going to complete his work of renewal and redemption in this world. He’s going to restore everything to the way he originally intended for it to be.  

So here’s the point of me going over that grand narrative: when a fellow Christian falls into sin and we pursue them and try to bring them back, we’re joining God in his redemptive mission in this world. We’re not doing something strange or questionable or, as some today would say, judgmental. We’re doing something that’s perfectly in line with God’s mission of redeeming people and rescuing people from sin. And that’s the context in which we approach this entire issue. We don’t pursue Christians in our group who have fallen into sin because we think we’re better than them or because we’re trying to make them feel like horrible people. It’s actually the exact opposite. We’re lovingly and humbly joining God in his redemptive mission. 

So that’s the big picture. Now, two points I’d like to make related to this. Remember, our main idea is that love pursues people in their sin rather than pretending it doesn’t exist. And so our first point is about why love pursues people. And our second point is about how love pursues people.

Why Love Pursues People

So first, why love pursues people. Please turn with me in your Bible to James 5 or it will be on the screen. If you’re using the Story Bibles we provide, it’s on page 853. James 5:19-20: “My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.” So love pursues people because it desires to “save [their] soul from death.” You know, people often imagine that sin is bad but not necessarily harmful. It doesn’t hurt you; it’s just not a good thing to do. Kind of like a rolling stop at a stop sign. It probably won’t hurt anybody, but it is officially against the law. And a lot of people think sin’s that way. But this verse teaches much differently. Sin brings death. It brings ruin. It brings destruction in many different ways. 

And it’s particularly dangerous because it looks so good at first. James 1:14 describes how Christians can be “lured away and enticed.” Those are the words it uses. It’s kind of like when you’re fishing. I’m not a big fisherman, but my dad used to take me out as a kid. And we would put two main things on my fishing line: a hook and a worm. The hook was obviously so we could catch the fish and pull it out of the water. But the hook by itself wouldn’t do that. Fish aren’t the smartest creatures in the world, but they’re smart enough not to go up to a bare hook and say “Hmm…that looks good” and bite it. They have to be enticed. That’s where the worm comes in. The worm acts as bait that entices the fish to bite the hook, and then you can give your fishing pole a little jerk and pull the fish out of the water. 

And that’s exactly the way it works with sin. Sin looks so appealing at first sight. It entices us by promising so many good things. And its pull can be so strong that we’ll sometimes wander away from Jesus in order to chase after it, but then we discover it’s actually not good for us at all. There’s a hook hidden in that bait. And when we’re hooked, things can get really bad really fast. And so, God says that one of the things a loving church family will do is pursue Christians in the church who have been lured away and hooked by sin. 

As we mentioned before, some people don’t really approve of that. They think that’s inappropriate for a church family to do. It’s judgmental. It might make people feel bad. But here’s the thing: people who say that are treating sin as if it’s a harmless thing. They don’t seem to be conscious at all of the fact that sin destroys people or, in the words of James 5, that sin brings death. Let’s say we were outside and you saw my one-year-old son Silas start wandering towards Route 51. And you said to me, “Josh, you might want to get Silas. He’s wandering out towards the highway.” And I said, “Yeah, but he’s having so much fun, and I don’t want to dampen his free spirit.” How would you respond when I said that? You would look at me as if I were the worst parent ever, and then you would hurry over to Silas and pick him up so he didn’t get run over by the tractor-trailer that was coming down the road. That’s not mean, that’s not judgmental. That’s loving. You’re rescuing him from death.

And that’s the reason why, if someone in our church wanders away from Jesus and starts pursuing a sinful lifestyle, we don’t just leave them there. We go after them. We pursue them. We help them see the foolishness of what they’re doing and beg them to come back to Jesus. And we do that because we understand that sin is anything but harmless. How cruel would you have to be to sit back and watch them walk down a path that will soon lead to their destruction? How cruel would you have to be to let someone continue in sin? And that’s why I believe that all of these churches that refuse to pursue members who fall into sin, which is true for about 90% of churches, are actually acting in a terribly unloving way. They think they’re just trying to be nice, but really they’re acting with great cruelty. If you see someone drowning in sin, the cruelest thing you can do to that person is to pretend it’s not happening, walk away from the water, and just let them drown. But we refuse to do that in this church.  We feel compelled to rescue those who are drowning in sin. We’re too compassionate to watch someone self-destruct in sin, and so we insist on doing everything we can to do as James 5 says and save their soul from death.  

How Love Pursues People

But what exactly do we do? I mean, it’s one thing to affirm that we should do something as a church. But we need to know exactly what we should do. So having looked first at why love pursues people, let’s now look secondly at how love pursues people. And the Bible actually gives us specific instructions about that in Matthew 18. So please turn to Matthew 18, or it will be on the screen. If you’re using the Story Bibles we provide, it’s on page 681. Matthew 18:15-17: “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.”

So Jesus spells out a very specific process here to win Christians back who have fallen into sin. Look at the situation Jesus is talking about at the beginning of verse 15: “If your brother sins against you.” So first of all, we’re talking about a “brother.” That means a fellow Christian. These verses aren’t talking about someone who’s not a Christian. We don’t expect non-Christians to live the way Jesus has told us to live. They need the gospel first. This verse is talking about a Christian brother or sister who, as Jesus describes next, “sins against you.” Now it may be tempting at first to just limit this to situations where someone does something that’s directly against you like lying or stealing. But I think that way of viewing this text is an example of our Westernized, individualistic mindset altering our perspective. If we really are a community of people who have been brought together by Jesus, then every sin a member of this community commits is a sin that’s at least indirectly against the other members. Kind of like when a pro football player does something stupid off the field and gets suspended from playing a few football games. His sin doesn’t just affect himself. If affects everyone on the team. And so, we might say, his sin is really against everyone.  And it works the same way with the church community. Every sin a member commits is really against every other member. So that phrase “sins against you” refers to every situation where a church member is living in sin and insists on continuing in that sin. 

And so, when that happens, what do we want to do? Do we want to punish that person? Absolutely not. The goal of Jesus’ instructions in this passage isn’t to punish people; it’s to rescue them. You can see that at the end of verse 15. Jesus talks about having “gained your brother.” Another translation says, “you have won back your brother.” That’s what we’re aiming for here. That’s the whole purpose of everything Jesus is talking about. And he gives us four steps we’re supposed to follow. Now the idea isn’t that we’re supposed to do all four steps every time. Hopefully the person will repent the first time a fellow Christian brings the sin to their attention. And from what I’ve seen, that’s what usually happens the vast majority of the time. But if it doesn’t happen, these are the four steps we’re supposed to follow to gradually escalate the magnitude of the intervention. 

Step One, as we see it in verse 15, is to “go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone.” Now, think about what that doesn’t say. That doesn’t say, “go and talk about it with other people.” It doesn’t say, “share it as an innocent-sounding prayer request.” “Um, excuse me, could we pray for Katelyn? I saw her coming out of the Wine and Spirits store the other day, and that made me think she’s probably an alcoholic.” Um, no. That’s not what we do. If you see behaviors in Katelyn’s life that concern you, like for example if you see her actually get drunk, then you need to go to her directly. Don’t chat it up with other people in the church. That’s called gossip. You need to go to Katelyn directly with love, with humility, and bring the sin to her attention. Check your heart to make sure you’re not functioning in any kind of pride or self-righteousness, and pray for wisdom. But then, you need to go to the person directly. In Jesus’ words, it’s “between you and him alone.” Now maybe you’re not sure exactly how to approach the situation, and you need some advice. That’s okay; these situations are usually quite messy. But try to get advice without giving away the person’s identity. And also, I realize this may be a bit uncomfortable. Nobody likes having to do this, and if you do, there’s something wrong with you. But this is what Jesus calls us to do. This is what genuine love requires. Love pursues people who are caught in sin. 

And if they listen to you in this first step, great! Jesus says that you’ve won your brother. And 95% of the time, this is where the process ends, right here. But if they don’t listen after you repeatedly bring the sin to their attention, we move on to Step Two. Verse 16: “But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you.” So Step Two is to “take one or two others.” These one or two others should be church members who know the person and are spiritually mature enough to deal with the situation lovingly and confidentially. Because, remember, we’re still trying to keep the situation as confidential as possible. And by taking one or two others, that helps the person see how this is a big deal. They now feel more social pressure to do what’s in their best interest anyway—to repent of their sin. 

And if even that proves ineffective, Jesus says in verse 17, “tell it to the church.” That’s Step Three: “tell it to the church.” That way, the entire church can actively seek to convince this individual to turn back to Jesus. It’s all hands on deck. We’re doing everything we can to rescue this person from the sin they’ve gotten entangled in. And, by the way, when we “tell it to the church,” it’s not like we just stand up on Sunday morning and announce it ourselves. I think the wisest way to go about telling the church is through church leaders. So this is when you would come to me or another church leader and share your concerns. Don’t come to me before this step. But if Step Three becomes necessary, come to church leaders, and we will help you announce it before the church, usually by working with the individual extensively, making sure everything really is what it seems, and then announcing it ourselves. And again, the goal is for the whole church to now lovingly pursue this person. 

And finally, Step Four in the second part of verse 17: “And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.” So that means treat them like an outsider. We don’t eat with them, we don’t do recreational activities with them, we don’t invite them to our kids’ birthday party. They’re out of the church’s community. And that may sound kind of unloving at first, but remember, the goal here is still to win them back. As a last resort, we may have to cut ties with them like Jesus is instructing, but our earnest hope even after this last step is that they’ll come to repentance. We want this last step to function as a desperate wake-up call for the person to turn away from the sin that’s going to destroy them. And if they repent, then they’re restored. This isn’t supposed to be a permanent arrangement. When they turn back to Jesus, we love them, we leave the issue in the past, and we embrace them once again as a member of the community. I’ve personally seen it happen in other churches I’ve attended, and let me say: it’s a beautiful thing. 

Conclusion

You know, as I was thinking about this subject of love pursuing people, I was reminded of a person in my wife’s Facebook mom’s group. This is a Facebook group with moms all across the country who have kids born at a particular time. And Becky shared something very sad with me a month or two ago about one of the moms. Apparently, her husband just came home one day, told her he wanted a divorce, and left that same day. They weren’t even having a lot of significant marital conflict and were even planning a trip to Disney World. But one day, without any advance warning, this woman’s husband was gone. He left her, he left their two-year-old child, and not only that he left them without any income since she was a stay-at-home mom. And his only explanation for leaving was that he would be happier alone. That’s apparently the only explanation he gave. Now, she subsequently discovered that he had been hanging out and really having an emotional affair with a 19-year-old—surprise, surprise. But it initially seemed to come out of nowhere. Also, by the way, this was a churchgoing family. This woman was a pastor’s daughter who attended a church gathering every week. But from what I understand, the church didn’t do anything—at least, not anything significant. They didn’t follow the steps of Matthew 18, they didn’t have those uncomfortable conversations, and because of that, there’s a woman and her daughter somewhere in Florida right now who are trying to deal with their entire world being turned upside down. Would things have turned out differently if the church had practiced Matthew 18? I don’t know, but I know they at least should have tried. Pursuing people who are caught in sin is loving to the individual who’s sinning, and it’s loving to those around them. And we want to do our best in this church to love people well. We want to join God in his redemptive mission.