Romans 14:1-15:7: Dealing with Disagreements

Romans 14:1-15:7: Dealing with Disagreements

Please turn with me in your Bibles to Romans 14. If you’re using one of the Story Bibles we provide, that’s on page 785. We’ve been working our way passage by passage through Paul’s letter to the Romans, and today we find ourselves in Romans 14. And we’ll actually deal with chapter 14 in its entirety as well as the first seven verses of chapter 15. So Romans 14:1 all the way through Romans 15:7. And although I’m not going to read the entire passage, we will end up examining most of the verses here throughout the course of this morning’s message. But before we do that, let’s pray for God’s blessing on this time.One of my professors in seminary once said that if two people agree on everything, there’s no need for one of them. Now, of course, he was speaking “tongue in cheek,” but his words are a good reminder for us that expecting two people to agree on everything is a rather unrealistic expectation. In fact, I’m not sure there are two people in this world who agree on everything. And that’s very true for Christians as well. Christians often have very different opinions about various issues. I remember 3-4 years ago, shortly before Becky and I started this church, I was volunteering for a hospice in the area. And as I was talking with the hospice’s volunteer coordinator, the conversation turned toward the church we were in the process of starting. And the volunteer coordinator was asking me questions about what kind of church it would be and showing some interest in perhaps attending sometime. But then she asked one question that kind of caught me off guard. She asked me if I believed in celebrating Christmas. And the reason that caught me off guard was because most Christians I had known prior to that believed very much in celebrating Christmas—it wasn’t even a question in their minds. But this volunteer coordinator explained that the tradition of celebrating a holiday called Christmas wasn’t in the Bible, and therefore, she believed Christians had no right to do it. And so I responded that I actually did believe in celebrating Christmas and planned on leading our church to celebrate Christmas as well. And as soon as I said that, her face dropped, and it seemed like she lost whatever interest she had in attending our church. So apparently that issue of celebrating Christmas was a very important issue to her. The fact that she and I thought differently about it was a dealbreaker.

And there’s no shortage of other issues about which Christians today often disagree as well. Perhaps one of the most common is the question of whether it’s okay to consume alcohol in moderation. Christians also disagree about many other things, including what physical boundaries a couple should have before marriage, whether it’s okay for women to spend money on cosmetic surgery, whether it’s okay to use coarse language, what kind of movies or TV shows are okay to watch, what forms of birth control are okay to use, what kinds of activities are permitted on Sundays, what kinds of clothing people should wear to church, what forms of discipline are okay to use when disciplining your child, whether it’s okay to send your children to public schools, whether smoking cigarettes is a sin, whether hunting and killing animals is wrong, whether it should be required for couples who are interested in each other to choose the path of courtship rather than dating, whether it’s okay to drink coffee and other caffeinated beverages, and whether it’s okay to vote for a particular political candidate. All of these issues are debated—and are sometimes vigorously debated—among Christians. 

And as we turn our attention to our main passage in Romans 14 and 15, we see that there were some issues that Christians disagreed about in the Apostle Paul’s day as well. The most significant issue for Christians at Rome was the question of what kinds of foods are permissible for Christians to eat. You see, a lot of the Christians in that church had a Jewish background. And the Old Testament law—the law God gave to Israel through Moses—taught that certain kinds of foods were off limits. They were “unclean.” So there was a lot of debate among the Christians in Rome about whether those food laws should still be observed. In addition, there was also a lot of debate about the Sabbath. God had commanded the Israelites to rest on the seventh day, calling it a Sabbath day. However, Christians in the church in Rome disagreed about whether or not observing the Sabbath was still required. And apparently, there was so much debate surrounding these two issues that Paul spends all of chapter 14 and even the first seven verses of chapter 15 addressing them. 

And Paul’s answer is basically that Christians should seek the glory of God both in what they do and in what they don’t do. That’s the main idea of this passage. Christians should seek the glory of God both in what they do and in what they don’t do. And as we look at this text more closely, we can see three guidelines that should direct our behavior when it comes to debated issues—whether it be issues that were debated back in Paul’s day or issues that are debated in our day. The first guideline is to pursue peace, the second is to demonstrate love, and the third is to exercise wisdom. 

Pursue Peace

So first, pursue peace. Look at Romans 14:1-3: 1 As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions. 2 One person believes he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables. 3 Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him. 

So Paul starts out by instructing his readers to welcome “the one who is weak in faith.” That refers to a Christian who has an overly sensitive conscience. They’re “weak in faith” in that they don’t have the faith to do certain things—the faith that certain behaviors are indeed permissible. In the specific situation Paul was addressing, those who were “weak in faith” only ate vegetables so as to make sure that they didn’t eat anything the Old Testament law considered unclean. By the way, it’s not that the Old Testament law required being a vegetarian. Rather, these people who only ate vegetables were just trying to make extra sure they didn’t eat any of the unclean types of meat by accident. So they just didn’t eat any meat at all. And Paul says that other Christians should welcome these Christians who are “weak in faith.” Don’t exclude them from church membership because of their overly sensitive conscience. 

Then Paul says in the latter part of verse 1 that not only should they accept these Christians into church membership but they should also be careful not to “quarrel over opinions.” In other words, don’t quarrel over something that really isn’t that clear in the Bible—something that the Bible never gives a hard and fast rule about. For the Christians in Rome, it would be eating meat. For us today, it would be the kinds of things I mentioned earlier—questions related to alcohol and cigarettes and birth control pills and coarse language and cosmetic surgery and public schools. When it comes to those kinds of issues, don’t quarrel over opinions, Paul says.  That’s not to say you can’t ever discuss opinions or gently try help someone come to a better opinion, but don’t quarrel over opinions. Then in verse 3, he goes on to say, “Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him.” So don’t cause trouble over these kinds of things.

And the reason it’s so important for us not to quarrel about these kinds of issues is because quarrelling diverts our attention away from the mission God’s given us. As Christians, God’s left us here on earth to proclaim the gospel and to make disciples. That’s why God doesn’t immediately call us up to heaven when we become Christians. He leaves us here so we can devote our lives to the gospel mission he’s given us. And that requires that we maintain a laser beam focus on that mission. We can’t allow ourselves to get caught up in other things.

Not too long ago, I was talking to a man who was in the military and had done several tours in the Middle East. And he shared with me that they were under strict orders in the Middle East—and I think specifically in Iraq—not to interfere in any way with the culture over there. They had a mission of making sure Iraq had a stable government, and that mission required not getting involved in other cultural matters. But one day, this soldier saw a woman being mistreated by her husband in public. I think her face veil had blown off in the wind, and that was not acceptable. So her husband was literally beating her in the public square. And of course, this soldier was horrified by that. Everything in him wanted to go over there and stop the husband from doing what he was doing and probably take the husband to an alley and teach him a thing or two. But the soldier couldn’t do that because he was under strict orders not to get involved. The success of the larger mission depended on it. 

And in a similar—though not identical—way, we as Christians have to have a laser beam focus on our mission as well. Now, by the way, our mission does include helping those who are afflicted such as a woman being beaten. That’s why I said the illustration is similar but not identical. Yet the point remains: we can’t allow ourselves to get caught up in unnecessary debates and disagreements about issues that aren’t clearly addressed in the Bible. Because whenever we allow ourselves to get entangled in those kinds of debates, guess what we’re not doing? We’re not engaging in the mission God’s given us. We’re neglecting that mission. So if we’re going to be faithful to do what God’s called us to do, we have to agree to disagree about certain things. Understand that Satan would love to distract us with other things. That’s one of the main ways Satan tries to hinder the spread of the gospel—by distracting those who have been called to proclaim it. So we have to be very diligent not to let that happen. That means, when it comes to debated issues, just do whatever is going to lead to peace in the church. If others in the church have a problem with you drinking alcohol in moderation, don’t drink alcohol around them. And if you have a problem with others drinking alcohol, don’t ask what’s in their fridge. If the Bible doesn’t give specific guidance about a certain issue, then make sure you pursue peace in the way you approach that issue. 

Demonstrate Love

Then according to Paul, not only should we pursue peace, we should also demonstrate love. That’s the second guideline Paul gives for approaching debatable issues. Demonstrate love. Look at verses 13-15: 13 Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother. 14 I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself, but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean. 15 For if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died. 

Let me read that last verse again: “For if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died.” So make sure you’re “walking in love” in all that you do. As you determine how you’re going to approach these debatable issues and how you’re going to act in various situations, consider the welfare of Christians around you. As verse 13 says, be very careful not to “put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother” or sister. If another Christian is distraught about you engaging in a certain behavior, try to be sensitive to that and not engage in that behavior around them. And if another Christian might be tempted to sin by you engaging in a certain behavior, then definitely don’t do it around them. Consider the welfare of your Christian brothers and sisters. It’s not all about you. 

I remember when I was in my early twenties, I wanted to go skydiving. In fact, I was this close to buying the skydiving ticket. But then, I had an opportunity to go with some friends on a trip somewhere, so I decided I wanted to use my money to go on that trip instead. However, I never forgot about skydiving and actually still think about it from time to time. But now, things are a little different. I’m now responsible not just for myself but for my family. I have a wife and four children who are depending on me. So risking my life by skydiving isn’t really an option any more. I don’t feel right about taking that risk because I now have a wife who needs a husband and children who need a dad. There are now more people to think about now than just me. 

And that’s similar to the way we should approach debatable issues in the church. Don’t act as if it’s all about you. Don’t be so concerned about your “rights” and what the Bible supposedly gives you the “right” to do. Especially as Americans, we’re typically all about our rights, aren’t we? There’s something in our blood that’s adamant about making sure our rights are respected. And I love the rights we have as Americans as much as anybody, but we need to understand that our rights aren’t the most important thing in the universe. So the Bible may give you the “right” to engage in a certain behavior by not clearly identifying that behavior as sin, but that still doesn’t mean you should do it. The appropriate thing to do may actually be to forego your “right” out of love for those around you. Because listen: if you’re not willing to do that—if you’re not willing to voluntarily abstain from something out of love for your Christian brothers and sisters—what makes you different from people in our society who aren’t Christians? What makes you different from your non-Christian neighbor who thinks first and foremost about himself? If we want to be different as Christians and known by the love we have for one another, we have to be willing to demonstrate that love by foregoing certain “rights” when appropriate. As Philippians 2:4 states, “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

And of course, this mindset isn’t a mindset we naturally have or are naturally capable of having. It’s a mindset that only comes through the change of heart brought about at conversion. In other words, you can’t do this—you can’t demonstrate this love—apart from Jesus. Back in Romans 5:5, Paul stated that, as Christians, “God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” So that love isn’t in your heart until God pours it into your heart through the Holy Spirit at conversion. You see, you have to come to the point where you recognize that there’s no way you can ever be the person God’s calling you to be on your own. In fact, everything you try to do apart from God is actually sin because it all flows from a tainted and sinful heart. That’s why Isaiah 64:6 says that “all our righteous deeds are like filthy rags.” Did you hear that? Not our wicked deeds but our righteous deeds. “All our righteous deeds are like filthy rags” in God’s sight. And according to the Bible, our unrighteousness cries out for God’s judgment. 

However, God loves us so much that he sent his own Son Jesus to come to this earth and take upon himself the judgment we deserved. That’s what happened when Jesus died on the cross. He was suffering in our place and paying the price for our sins. Then after Jesus died, he resurrected from the dead so that he’s now is able to offer forgiveness and rescue to everyone who will put their trust in him. And by the way, you can do that even this morning. Just look to Jesus and cry out to him for rescue. And part of that rescue is him giving us a new heart so that we can be free from our sins and walk in his ways. So the love Paul commands back in our main passage of Romans 14 grows out of the gospel in two ways. The gospel gives us a picture of love to imitate as we see Jesus dying on the cross for our sins, and the gospel also brings about the supernatural change of heart that’s necessary in order to love as Paul says we should love. 

Exercise Wisdom

Then not only should we pursue peace and demonstrate love in the way we approach debatable issues, we should also do one other thing, and that is exercise wisdom. We should exercise wisdom when it comes to debatable matters. And I believe we can identify five questions that arise out of our main passage that help us exercise wisdom in these things. For the sake of time, I’ll have to go through these very briefly, but these are five questions that you can ask yourself whenever you’re not sure if it’s appropriate to do something. And I’ve adapted these questions from a book entitled Ethics for a Brave New World by John and Paul Feinberg. 

Question one when you’re not sure about whether to do something is this: “Am I fully persuaded that it is right?” In verse 5 of our main passage, Paul writes, “One person esteems one day as better than another, while another esteems all days alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind.” So if you’re not “fully convinced in [your] own mind” that it’s okay to do something, you probably shouldn’t do it. You don’t want to get in the habit of violating your conscience. In fact, Paul specifically says later on in the chapter that violating your conscience is a sin. He says in verse 23, “But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because the eating is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.” So if you don’t have the faith that it’s okay to do something and you do it anyway, that’s a sin, Paul says. Even if it wouldn’t otherwise be wrong, it becomes wrong if it violates your conscience. So the first question to ask yourself about a debatable behavior is, “Am I fully persuaded that it is right?”

Then question two is, “Can I do it as unto the Lord?” In verses 6-8, Paul writes, 6 The one who observes the day, observes it in honor of the Lord. The one who eats, eats in honor of the Lord, since he gives thanks to God, while the one who abstains, abstains in honor of the Lord and gives thanks to God. 7 For none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself. 8 For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s. So everything we do should ultimately be done for God. It should all be done for his glory and his honor. And that means if we can’t honestly do something for the glory of God, we shouldn’t do it. I remember when I was a teenager, I liked to watch a questionable show on TV. You may be familiar with it; it was called That 70’s Show. And I knew it probably wasn’t the best show to watch, but I really liked watching it. But one day, my best friend’s mom, who was a very godly woman and who helped lead the youth group at church, helped me re-evaluate my decision to watch that show by asking me a probing question. She asked, “Would you still watch that show if Jesus were sitting in that room right beside you?” And I had to admit that I probably would not, so I stopped watching it soon after. And I believe this question of “Can I do it as unto the Lord?” functions in a similar way. It brings to the surface what we probably already know about a certain behavior in our hearts.

Then a third question to ask ourselves is “Can I do it without being a stumbling block to my brother or sister in Christ?” And this goes back to the idea of demonstrating love for one another like we talked about earlier. As we saw before, Paul writes in verses 13-15, 13 Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother. 14 I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself, but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean. 15 For if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died. Then Paul continues in verses 20-21, 20 Do not, for the sake of food, destroy the work of God. Everything is indeed clean, but it is wrong for anyone to make another stumble by what he eats. 21 It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble. So if something’s going to harm your Christian brother or sister either by causing them distress or by tempting them to sin, then don’t do it. And in most situations, that means don’t do it around the person, though in some situations it may even mean not doing it at all. 

Moving on, the fourth question to ask ourselves about a debatable behavior is “Does it promote peace and mutual edification?” Paul writes in verse 19, “So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding” or mutual edification. And this goes back to the idea of pursuing peace that we’ve discussed. Don’t do something that’s going to stir up strife and thereby hinder the church’s ability to focus on the gospel. 

Then finally, there’s a fifth question that I’ll admit doesn’t directly arise from our main passage, but I thought it was so important, I couldn’t leave it out. That question is, “Does it enslave me?” Does the behavior in question enslave me? And that question comes primarily from 1 Corinthians 6:12, where Paul writes, “‘All things are lawful for me,’ but not all things are helpful. ‘All things are lawful for me,’ but I will not be dominated by anything.” Now the phrase “all things are lawful for me” was a slogan that was apparently commonly used among the Christians in Corinth. That’s why it has an additional set of quotation marks around it. Yet after Paul rhetorically quotes that slogan, he says “but I will not be dominated by anything.” Whenever you’re dominated by a certain behavior, that’s an indication you’ve crossed the line into idolatry. Your god is now that behavior or that habit rather than the true God. That’s probably the biggest objection I personally would have to smoking or taking in anything that’s highly addictive. If indeed you “have to have it,” that’s a form of idolatry. That habit has displaced God in your life and, functionally, has become your god. 

Conclusion 

So those are questions I would recommend asking whenever you’re not sure about whether or not to engage in a certain behavior. And all of these questions and really everything we’ve talked about this morning ultimately come back to seeking the glory of God in our lives. You may remember that I said the main idea of our passage is that Christians should seek the glory of God both in what they do and in what they don’t do. That’s what should be foremost in our thoughts as we determine how we’re going to approach different things. All of this is so much bigger than just you. At the very end of our main passage, in Romans 15:5-7, Paul writes, 5 May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, 6 that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. 7 Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God. So is the glory of God what’s foremost in your mind as you consider how you’re going to approach various things? Are you thinking first and foremost about the welfare of God’s people, the advance of God’s Kingdom, and the fame of God’s name?